Saturday, 21 February 2015

A Frivolous Baby!

So lovely readers, it would appear that I am with child! Eek!

We found out at the beginning of January and it has been torture not being able to tell people! Mostly because I've felt so bloody awful I want the world to suffer with me. It's not been an easy few weeks, there have been some scary moments and I've been quite unwell which is why there's been a distinct lack of posts from me. I've been living in pyjamas and have probably only brushed my hair and put make-up on about three times this year! It's not been a pretty sight. 

It was quite a surprise, albeit an extremely pleasant and joyful one. I've discussed my issues with fertility and PCOS on here before and even documented my first couple of visits to a weightloss clinic I was attending in preparation for fertility help. As it was I got quite unwell with my brains and had to stop. Essentially I was told a few years ago that I would probably never have a child naturally and we were all set to go ahead with treatment in 18 months or so once I was coming towards the end of my degree. However, my body did something magic and I fell pregnant completely out of the blue! It still seems a bit surreal and we've been on tenterhooks for the last 8 weeks waiting for something to go wrong because it just seems too good to be true!

Pregnancy has been utterly shite so far but seeing our little pea (I'm not sure why but we've been calling it that!) today made it all worth it. He (I think it's a boy for some reason) was laying on his tummy so looks upside down in the little picture but we saw him wriggle around, kick his legs and turn to lay on his side which was so surreal!

When I found out I was pregnant I looked for some blogs about being plus size and pregnant and could only find American ones. There is so much scaremongering about being overweight and pregnant but so far all the issues I've had have been completely unrelated to my weight. With that in mind I'm opening a sister blog to Frivolous Mrs D called Frivolous Mama in a few weeks where I'm going to very honestly document my pregnancy, bad bits as well as good. (And then probably continue once pea is out!) I don't want to clog up this blog because it is a plus size fashion blog and I imagine the majority of you have zero interest in the workings of my womb!

However, it does mean that my fashion style is going to change a bit, mostly because it is nigh on impossible to find plus size maternity wear. It means I'm going to have to get creative but hopefully my fashion choices will still be interesting to some of you!

Mr D and I really are deliriously happy, I have never felt more in love with my silly, beardy man. And my body for making it happen! 


Mama D x

Thursday, 5 February 2015

#Time to Talk - Take 5

We are all being encouraged today by the brilliant charity, Time to Change, to take 5 minutes out of our day to talk about mental health. Whether that's opening up to someone about your experiences or how you're feeling or asking someone else how they're doing. You can read last year's Time to Talk post here. This year's could not be more different to that one. 
This is the best I have felt mentally in a very long time and it feels wonderful to say that. There are some big life changes happening at the minute which normally would send me into a bit of a panic but I could not be more excited or eager for them to happen.

It scares me to think about how low I was this time last year and thanks to the Timehop app I'm being reminded every day! It isn't very nice to think about it but it also reminds me of how far I've come and how much has changed in such a short space of time. I was in a very scary place but thanks to hard work from me, support from my loved ones and some excellent care (and finally the right medication combination!) from my community mental health team I feel confident that it is behind me.  I fully expect to have bad patches again because that is the nature of my illness but I know I can get through them and I finally know when to ask for help and not to be embarrassed or worried about disappointment.

The biggest thing I learnt last year was to know my limits, be kind to myself and not overdo it. It took a few mishaps and mistakes but I can finally say no and step back when I need to regardless of how much I might want to do something. It might mean missing out on an amazing blog event or doing something fun with my husband but if it means staying well, I don't mind. I've always forced myself to do things and taken on too much, it's just something built in me so it's not easy and I still have moments when I know I should be taking a step back but I'm learning. 

You might think a blog post or a silly hashtag isn't going to make a difference but if just one person opens up about their mental health today when they normally wouldn't do, that's progress. I see so many people moaning about how people (especially bloggers for some reason) claim to have a mental illness and how they're trying to make it fashionable but in my opinion they're just adding to the stigma. Who cares if maybe they don't have a formal diagnosis? They're opening up a channel of discussion for someone who does. Does it matter how many people suffer with anxiety? It doesn't make yours or mine any less relevant or serious. By slagging people off for talking about it you're potentially stopping someone else opening up and asking for help for fear of being tarred with the same brush. Don't be a dickhead, just listen.

If you're struggling, tell someone. I guarantee it won't be half as scary as you think it'll be. And never, ever underestimate the power of a kind word from a stranger. Utilise social media and the world around you. Get talking!

Mrs D x

Telephone: 08457 90 90 90 (24 hours a day)

Provides confidential, non-judgmental emotional support for people experiencing feelings of distress or despair, including those that could lead to suicide. You can phone, email, write a letter or in most cases talk to someone face to face.
Telephone: 0845 4647

Health advice 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
Telephone: 0300 123 3393 (9am-5pm Monday to Friday)

Mind provides confidential mental health information services.
With support and understanding, Mind enables people to make informed choices. The Infoline gives information on types of mental distress, where to get help, drug treatments, alternative therapies and advocacy. Mind also has a network of nearly 200 local Mind associations providing local services.
Telephone: 0300 5000 927   (10am-2pm Monday to Friday)

Provides expert advice and information to people with mental health problems and those who care for them, as well as giving help to health professionals, employers and staff. Rethink also runs Rethink services and groups across England and Northern Ireland.
Telephone: 0845 767 8000 (6pm-11pm)

Saneline is a national mental health helpline providing information and support to people with mental health problems and those who support them.
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