Saturday, 25 January 2014

Swan Song

I was gifted this dress by eShakti last year but was unsure about it for a while for some reason. If you haven't heard of them eShakti make some impossibly beautiful, colourful, feminine dresses up to a US Size 36 as well as custom sizing. You can also customise lengths, neck lines and sleeve lengths. If it weren't for one small detail my wardrobe would be full of their dresses and that small detail is that they don't currently ship to the UK. Booooo! Fortunately for me I have a lot of family in Canada that very kindly don't mind fowarding bits to me but I live in hope that they will extend their shipping destinations one day. 

I had this swan print dress custom sized which was so simple and really handy. I customised the draped sleeves to be longer which as it turns out I'm not too keen on but that's easily remedied with a cardigan. I must have been having an extra podgy day when I measured myself because the waist is a little loose so I'm going to have it taken in a bit as soon as I get round to it (which will probably be never). 

Plus size outfit

Dress from eShakti
Cardigan from M&S
Shoes from M&S

The dress is made from a lovely silky material which falls beautifully, especially as it's quite bulky on the skirt which gives it a brilliant shape. The scalloped collar finishes it perfectly but I still haven't quite found the right way to tie the bow. Because the dress is so cute and feels so luxurious it seems almost odd that it's so comfortable. It doesn't crease either which is a massive bonus in my book because ironing is at the top of my hate list. Also, POCKETS!

eShakti always have offers of some sort on. At the minute if you buy 2 you get 1 free and you get a $30 gift voucher when you register with them. Now if only we could convince them to ship to the UK!

Mrs D x

ps. I couldn't resist sharing a few of my current favourite dresses. Flamingos! 


Saturday, 18 January 2014

Shades of Grey

This is quite a lazy outfit, more cosy and casual than anything else. The dress is starting to look a little washed out which is sad because it really is the most comfortable dress I own. It's a simple skater style dress that I bought in the Evans sale for around £7.  

It is really lovely to be genuinely laughing in these photos. My mum took them and she is hilarious with a camera, plus she had to stand on a chair to take the next two because she's short and said she couldn't get an angle where my boobs didn't look bigger than my head haha! Watching my mother climb on a chair, balance herself then try to get down was hands down the funniest thing I have seen in a long time (think Mrs Doyle in the Father Ted Christmas special...), hence why I am doubled over laughing!

Dress from Evans (old)
Cardigan from M&S
Tights from Simply Be
Necklace from Pieces of the Past
Brogues from Clarks (old)

Outfits are probably going to be a little thin on the ground for a while but I am aiming to post at least once a week until things return to normal. 

Mrs D x


Tuesday, 14 January 2014

Weight Management Group - Week 1

This is a follow-up post to this one here.

Last Thursday was the first proper session of my weight management group as part of my fertility treatment. It took a lot to get me there as the last week or so has been really, really tough. My GAD is on fire and for the first time in a while I'm in quite a bad depression so Doing Things is hard. I managed to get myself dressed, even put some make-up on (thank you, baby Jesus for Illamasqua lipstick that makes you look like you've done something special) and drove myself there. It took me 20 minutes of sitting in the car psyching myself up to getting out but I did it. Fortunately there were a few familiar faces from the introduction session before Christmas which was helpful. 

The session began as it did last time with each of us seeing the dietitian one-to-one and as predicted the vast quantities of Baileys and Quality Street reflected in the numbers. It's going to be difficult getting used to being weighed because it is the numbers that determine whether or not we move to the next stage of fertility treatment but for me I am far more concerned about the way I feel physically. I have no number related goals, I just want to be able to hula hoop on the Wii Fit for longer than 20 minutes without feeling like I've just smoked 80 cigarettes at a high altitude. 

We did a little introduction which was really relaxed and comfortable; no ice breaker games or trust falls in sight. We discussed what our aims and objectives were for the 12 weeks and what our expectations and concerns were. We wrote them all down on post-it notes and put them up on a flip chart so we could all have a read. There were two in the 'concerns' column that were heartbreaking. One said 'I will fail at this like everything else' and the other said 'nothing else has worked so why will this?'. One of mine was that I'm scared that emerging myself in weight loss discussion will have a negative impact on my confidence. When we discussed what each other had written down someone brought mine up. I tried to explain it a little more and I'm really worried that I came across as being very self-centred, that I didn't understand why people have low self esteem and a bit 'look at me with all my confidence, let me stick it in your face' but I didn't mean it that way at all. I wanted to say that I've spent so much time and energy learning to be comfortable with my body and building my self esteem that I'm worried being immersed into discussion of weight loss and the notion that fat = bad and that I need to change will unravel all the hard work I've done. It was really difficult to listen to people talk about their lack of confidence and dislike for their bodies. It made me very emotional and I did a little cry which I feel so, so stupid about. I hate to think of anyone being upset or hurt (so much so that that is how the majority of my GAD manifests) and because I've made such an effort to surround myself with body positive people it was quite a shock and difficult to hear. 

Everyone was really supportive though and despite people having differing opinions and thoughts about things I think we are all going to be very encouraging of each other. It feels like a good group of people and whatever our reason is for being there, whether it's purely medical or aesthetic, we're there for a common goal and we've all chosen to share it with a group. 

Something that doesn't sit well with me is that there is no psychologist on the team. The dietitian said she has a few people that she feels need a referral but there isn't the option to do so. Weight in general is such an enormous psychological minefield, I think that even people who are completely comfortable with their bodies and their weight can be put in certain situations that would throw up unpleasant feeling and need some support. The lack of psychological support doesn't surprise me though as I was told a few months ago by my GP that the mental health support within the NHS is at an all time low. She has been told by the community mental health team that unless patients are showing signs of psychosis they are to be treated by the in-surgery well-being teams which is fine but for people like myself with lifelong mental health issues, a bit of counselling is not going to cut it. So, there does seem to be a bit of a chink in the machinery but fortunately the dietitian is brilliant and very approachable which bodes well.

I'm still feeling very apprehensive about the coming weeks but from what I gathered, so is everyone else. It's unknown territory for us all and regardless of personal issues or opinions we're there for the same reason which automatically gives us something in common. Whilst I am concerned about the affect diet talk and negativity will have on my mental state I'm eager to push through and challenge myself a little. It doesn't help that I'm in a pretty bad place at the moment but I know to save my spoons for this because my end goal is so incredibly important. 

*Just a little note to say that I discussed this blog post with the group and everyone was happy for me to write about it as long as I obviously don't name any names or elude to personal details. Infact, they asked for the blog address so are probably reading this and I am scared not only about the open discussion of my mentals throughout my blog but also, bra reviews haha! 

Wednesday, 8 January 2014

Winter Charcoal

Marks & Spencer Bobble Button Cardigans are a staple in my wardrobe, they're super soft, fit really well and are a bargain at £16-18 (although they're half price at the minute!). I'm wearing a size 22 here which most of mine are but just recently they've started doing certain colours (and a few other items) up to a size 28. When mum and I were in M&S a couple of weeks ago we both did the simultaneous 'ooh, I like that one' when we saw this beautiful charcoal colour. It is perfect for the winter months. 

Bird print dress (old stock) from Lady V London
Cardigan from M&S
Tights from Evans
Shoes from Clarks

Cat eye glasses brooch is vintage

I want to smother myself is soft cardigans at the minute. Cardigans are awesome, aren't they?

Mrs D x

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