Tuesday, 17 July 2012

A Big, Fat Rant

Today's post is a quite different from my usual ones. You won't find any pretty, frivolous goings on in this post, just big bloody fat ones.

I went for my bi-weekly swim this morning with my mother-in-law which I normally really love doing but it was ruined by two incidents where two different men really pissed me off. I love swimming, I've always been a water baby and always will be. There were a few years where I felt too self conscious to swim but never, ever because of my size, I was always far more concerned about people seeing my scarred thighs. However, my mother-in-law and I have been going swimming at least once a week for quite a while now and I'm trying to build up my fitness so I can swim as much as I used to. The way I do this is that I like to swim a couple of lengths, then have a little rest for a couple of minutes then do a couple more and so on. That way I find I can swim more for longer.

Whilst in one of my rests a man swam up to me, smirked and we had a conversation that went something like this;
Idiot 1: "Well, you're not doing much swimming, are you?"
Me: "I'm just having a little rest actually."
Idiot 1: "You're not, you're just standing there."
Me: *glare*
Idiot 1: *Laughs and swims off*

Did I feel it necessary to comment on the fact that he was kicking his feet around like a possessed child splashing water in everyone's face? No, I didn't because it would have been rude and none of my business. If I want to have a rest after every few length, I bloody well will! If I only want to get in the pool, swim one length and spend the rest of the time alternating between treading water and floating on my back pretending to be a dead body (don't deny you don't do it, too) then that's okay because it's my bloody choice to do so and none of his flippin' business!

So after he splashed off I got a few more lengths in before I was accosted by Idiot 2. He was in the next lane and as I got to the end of the pool he caught my attention and this happened;
Idiot 2: "Keep going, I know how difficult it is but it's worth it in the end."
Me: "....I am but thank you."
Idiot 2: "I know how difficult it is when you're trying to lose weight but you have to keep pushing yourself to carry on. How many lengths have you done so far?"
Me: "20. It might not seem much but I just do as many as I feel like."
Idiot 2: "Oh no, you need to do at least 32, that's half a mile. I've lost 17 stone and I swim twice a day so I understand what you're going through, it is really hard losing weight when you're so big."
.....WHAT?

He continued to harp on about how much weight he'd lost and that he used to be 38 stone so he's been where I am and how I really should go to the doctors and tell them how depressed I am about being overweight and they'll give me a free gym and swimming membership.
....WHAT?

Okay, that's really nice but why assume that because I'm a fat girl and I'm swimming I must be trying to lose weight? That the only reason I'm swimming because I want to lose weight. It was ridiculous. I didn't know whether to be grateful and pleased that this man was clearly trying to be helpful or just be really pissed off. It had nothing to do with him. Why did he feel the need to say that to me? He just kept on and on about how he knows how difficult it is and how difficult it is to even have the guts to get into a swimming pool when you're really overweight but I'd done so well to do that and now I just had to keep going to make sure I did a quarter of a mile every day...

I was so offended! Yes, I'm fat. Yes, I am swimming because I want to get fitter but I'm also swimming because I really enjoy it. Just because I'm a fat person doesn't mean I'm automatically trying to lose weight. And even if I am, what the buggering ballbags does it have to do with him?! What right does he have to comment on that? It's NONE OF HIS BUSINESS.

On one hand, yes he was trying to nice and helpful but it just reinforced the superior attitude that people have towards someone who's fat. Like it's their god given right to pass judgement and comment on it and to make assumptions on them because of their size.

It made me cross because had this happened a couple of years ago or even this time last year it would have completely put me off going back. Knowing that I can't go for a flippin' swim without some stranger commenting on my weight is so infuriating. Last year that would have knocked my confidence completely and I'd imagine it'd be the same for a hell of a lot of people. Now though, it doesn't bother me so much. I don't know how, why or when I stopped being so bothered but somehow, I'm not. Infact, it just makes me more determined to go back, see him and make him count as I only do 30 lengths, not the magical 32. And then belly flop him.

Love,
A Grumpy But Still Smelling Of Delicious Chlorine Mrs D x
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14 comments

  1. Some people's audacity shocks me. Don't let it bother you at all. I love swimming too I wish I had the confidence to go!x

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    1. What is it that stops you out of interest? It's funny because in all the years I've been swimming I've never had anyone say anything to me before. I had a few funny looks when I was younger and my scars were very red and obvious but I put it down to natural curiosity.
      Nothing will get in the way of me and my watery love :D xx

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  2. Thats awful, think I'd of exploded at them both! How Rude! I quite often get people at the gym who seem to think I need a pep talk. I've turned up, so I don't need you to motivate me!

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    1. How bloody rude! I hate that about the gym, everyone seems to think it's a competition. I'm happy to waddle along on the treadmill but other people put me off. xx

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  3. Oh my word!People can be so weird :/ Cocky men are the worst kind xx
    p.s. I'm a terrible swimmer, so anyone who can actually do laps is a hero in my book!

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    1. Hehe! It wouldn't have been so bad if they were both super fit, incredible pictures of health but neither of them were! xx

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  4. Too bloody right about the superior thing! My body is nobody else's bloody business - can you imagine if you approached him and said "you know, if you're depressed about that massive nose, there's always surgery... I had a big nose once, but I had a nose job. If you just work a bit harder you can save up the money to do it too! You'll be SO much less depressed without that unsightly nose shadowing your face!"?!?!?! No! Because nobody DOES that! Bastards. I'd love to swim away and accidentally kick them in the face as I did so.

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    1. Hahaha! I might hold onto that one for next time :D xx

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  5. Some ridiculous people always think they have the right to pass judgement on everything. Especially when they haven't been invited to. Next time splash them in their judgemental, nosey faces.

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    1. This is why my naive, optimism doesn't work for me because I wanted to think he was being nice but the more I think about it, the more cross I get!

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  6. Haha I know! At least he got the full extent of my unimpressed glare, the other guy just totally baffled me.
    Yay for hotties in tankinis! My mother in law in convinced men only talk to me because of my 38H buoyancy aids :D xx

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  7. Ahhh, how annoying! Just don't let the fuckers get you down, sexyface! xx

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  8. Ugh, people are so ridiculous! How rude! For blokes to say that kind of thing to a lady, that they don't know, well it's just not right I tell you!

    And on the dead body thing, yes, I totes do that too!

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  9. You handled it extremely well, I must say! Good for you! I've only just got myself to the point of not bursting into tears at comments like this - I swear one day I will have wise ass answers for the small minded little boys!

    My husband's plaguing me to go with him and our 8 year old boy during the summer hols but the thought of baring my size 24 flesh makes me feel ill...I have diabetes and M.E so I know the gentle exercise will do me the power of good, but *shudders* don't know if I can!

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